House That Built Me
by SassyCop
Summary: Gillian struggles with her feelings after Claire's death. Post series finale.
1. Lost in this Old World

**I was inspired to write this story 2 years ago after hearing Miranda Lambert's song "House that Built Me." It took me this long to get around to actually doing it! This is a follow up to a previous story I did titled "Back on Track." It can be read as a stand alone, but there will be things from that story referenced in this one. LightWoman-if you're still around, I hope you enjoy the continuation of your Secret Santa fic! (Better late than never-right?) ;)**

**Chapter 1: Lost in this Old World**

"_You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can  
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am"_

It's been two weeks since Claire's death and Gillian can't seem to shake this sadness that has overtaken her. She's hardly sleeping and her appetite is pathetic. The psychologist in her knows she is going through the normal grief reactions. The woman in her knows she has been through these phases of the grief process before-several times. This one feels different. She can't quite figure out how, but it just does.

She sits in her office on a Thursday afternoon and as she stares out the window she is struck with an idea. She turns to her calendar and checks her schedule for Friday. It's clear except for a possible new client that she is supposed to vet in the morning. She could get Cal, or maybe Torres, since she doesn't want to scare them off, to meet with them instead. Yes, that's what she'll do.

It's a little after 6 when she shuts down her computer and turns off the lights in her office. She makes her way to Cal's office. She knows he hasn't left yet. They always check in with each other at the end of the day and she hasn't seen him since early in the afternoon. She probably should have told him about her plans sooner, but she knows why she didn't. Cal has been very attentive lately, and while she understands it's because he cares about her and knows she is having trouble with Claire's death, she feels as if she should take this next step on her own. If she told him her plans earlier he would rearrange his own schedule for the weekend and insist on going with her. While she wouldn't be entirely opposed to that, she thinks it would be a bit much to burden him with. She feels a lot of emotion around this visit and she's leaned on Cal so much over the past few weeks. Taking this trip with her would be a lot to ask of him. Plus, there are a lot of things he doesn't know about her and she isn't quite sure she's ready to share everything.

Gillian enters his office and finds him on the phone. She quietly sits in the chair in front of his desk. She smiles as she realizes he is talking to Emily. He's giving her a hard time about something. She loves the relationship he has with his daughter. It warms her heart to watch them interact.

"…And how much is this little trip gonna cost me?" Cal looks at her and grins. It's the look he gets when he is relentlessly aggravating his daughter. "Well, in that case, you have my blessing." He listens a little more. "No boys, right?" He waits for her answer. "Are Hannah's parents going to be there the whole time?" He smiles at Gillian as she sits and grins back while shaking her head. "I guess I can agree to that. So, when do you leave?" Cal leans back in his chair. "All right then. I'll be home shortly. I'll grab something for dinner." He listens for her response. "Ok. Love you too." He hangs up. He looks at Gillian. "Want to come over for Thai? I told Em I'd bring dinner home."

Gillian smiles, but shakes her head. "Thanks, but I have to pack tonight." She watches his eyebrows shoot up in question. "I'm going away for the weekend." She looks at the floor as she tells him.

Cal pops out of his chair and comes around to lean on his desk right in front of her. "A spontaneous trip? That's not like you." He crosses his arms and waits until she looks up at him. "What's going on love? You okay?"

"I'm fine Cal. I just feel… I need to…" she let's out a long sigh and looks back at the floor. She says, more quietly this time, "I'm fine Cal."

Cal moves to sit in the chair beside her. As he sits, he slides the chair so their knees are practically touching. "Look at me and say that."

Gillian rolls her eyes as she looks at him. "I'm fine Cal."

"Hm. Not all together a lie. But you're holding out on something." He leans back in the chair, which leaves his knees still right next to hers and puts him in his favorite slouch position. "So, where you headed then?"

Gillian takes in a deep breath before she says "Poplar Grove." He gives her a confusing look as if to say '_where_?' "North Carolina."

"Home." Cal squints at her and studies her face like her pores might start literally speaking to him. "Why's this come up suddenly?"

Gillian squirms a little in her seat. She looks everywhere but at him when she says "I just feel like I... I don't know why really, it's just something I feel I need to do."

Cal wants to ask if he can go with her, but he hesitates. She's been very good these past few weeks with telling him exactly what she needed. Now, she's being cryptic. But, he doesn't feel like she is hiding something, just that she seems confused. About what he has no idea, but he has to trust her to know what she needs. "Okay love. Is there anything you need me to do for you?"

Gillian feels almost disappointed that he didn't invite himself to go like she expected him to. She covers it quickly and hopes he didn't see it. In her head she chastises herself for feeling that way. Wasn't she just saying how she should go by herself? How Cal had been so wonderful lately and how it would be unfair for her to burden him with this trip? "No, but thank you."

Cal gets up and goes back around his desk. "So, when you leaving?"

"Um, probably around ten in the morning. After rush hour."

Cal can't help but think something is off, but he can't put his finger on it. "You'll be coming back on Sunday?"

"Yes. Probably late Sunday evening." Gillian stands and puts her coat on.

"You sure you're okay to go by yourself?" Cal watches her closely as he asks the question.

Gillian takes a deep breath and looks down before answering "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be fine." She buttons her coat and adds "A long drive will do me good." She doesn't quite believe either of those statements and she catches herself right as she shrugs her shoulder. She immediately does something with her coat hoping Cal will think she shrugged on purpose to straighten it.

Cal catches the shrug and knows she doesn't believe at least part of what she just said, if not all. He wishes she would just ask him to go. He's not sure why she isn't. Is it that she really wants to be alone or does she think it will inconvenience him? "Okay." He comes back around the desk and goes to give her a hug. "Well drive safe and call me if you need to." He pulls her in tightly against him. "I mean that Gill. You need anything, you call."

She squeezes him tight in return. "I will. Thank you." She holds on a little longer than she thinks she should. She feels so much stronger when he's around. She thinks she needs to leave now before she breaks downs and asks him to go with her. "Have a good weekend."

"You too. Be safe." Cal watches as she walks to the door. "Good night love."

She doesn't turn around. She says "Goodnight" over her shoulder and keeps walking.

Cal sits at his desk staring at the door she just went through. That was an odd conversation. It's as if she wants him to go but she just won't ask him. _She doesn't want to put me out. _"That's bollocks." He thinks back on the conversation. The disappointment she tried to hide, the confusion, and the shoulder shrug. He jumps up to leave for the day. He figures he'll pick up dinner, eat with Emily and then pack so he can be at Gillian's house by 8:30 in the morning. He knows her. She hasn't been sleeping well lately, even though she won't quite admit it to him. She'll be awake early and will leave right at the tail end of rush hour. He'll be there ready to go when she is. _Hopefully I'm reading this right…_ He thinks as he locks up the office for the night.

**TBC**


	2. Out Here its Like I'm Someone Else

**You can find the song "House that Built Me" on you tube. Don't watch the live videos if you want the full effect! Se gets ****emotional every time she does the song live! I tried to post a link-but it wouldn't let me!**

**Miranda Lambert does some awesome stuff…**

**Chapter 2 Out here it's like I'm someone else**

Gillian wakes up at 6:30. She was hoping she would get a little more sleep. She didn't set her alarm and yet here she is awake at her normal time. She'll have to make a pot of coffee to take with her. She hasn't been sleeping well and knowing her luck she'll be exhausted for the whole trip.

At 8:15 Gillian is ready to go. She carries her two bags to the car and places them in the trunk. She takes a trip through her house, making sure everything is off and the timer is set for the living room light. She finishes her cup of coffee and rinses it out in the sink. She grabs the two thermoses full of sickly sweet coffee and a honeybun she's taking with her. She leaves the house and locks the door behind her. As she turns, she sees Cal walking up her sidewalk. "Cal?" She walks a few steps closer. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine love." Cal takes her keys out of her hand and turns to walk to her car. It's then that she notices the bag sitting near her trunk.

She walks toward him with a confused look on her face. As she reaches the car, he is placing his bag in her trunk. "Cal, what are you doing?"

"I'm putting my bag in the trunk. Is that okay or would you rather me put it in the back seat?" Cal grins at her as he takes the two thermoses out of her hands and opens her passenger door. He then gets in and makes himself comfortable in her front seat.

Gillian stands there for a second staring in disbelief. '_What is going on?' _As she walks around her car to get in on the drivers' side, she sees him reach over with her keys and start the ignition. She opens the door and gets in. "Cal-"

Before she can even get a sentence out Cal interrupts. "I want to go with you Gill. If you really want to go by yourself and you have some very good reason why you don't want company, then I'll respect that and I'll get out of the car right now." He pauses for a second. "And before you say anything, Emily is leaving town after school today to go to her friend Hannah's cabin in the mountains. They'll be back late on Sunday. So you aren't keeping me from her."

Gillian is sitting there staring at him with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. She takes a deep breath, closes her mouth, and with her eyes moist she says "Thank you" very quietly.

* * *

The ride is quiet until they get outside the city. They're heading west on Route 66 and the traffic has thinned out considerably. Cal opens one of the thermoses and takes a sip. "Ugh good God! There's enough sugar in there to put me in a coma!"

Gillian laughs. "Well, I wasn't expecting company and that's how I like it."

He points at the other thermos "I guess that one is loaded down with sugar also?"

"Yep. You should have let me know you were coming and I would have made one for you." She glances over at him for a second then puts her attention back on the road.

"Well, see, I was afraid to give you any warning that I was coming, cause I was afraid you'd tell me not to. You know, because of some foolish belief that you might be burdening me." He looks at her intently as he says that.

Gillian can't help reacting to what he says. It's like he can read her mind.

"Hah! I knew it!" Cal turns slightly in the seat so he looking directly at her. "You, Gillian Foster, are not a burden. To me or anyone else. I want to be here for you. I wish I could get that through your thick skull."

She glances at him again, and hopes he can see the gratitude she feels. "You've been so wonderful Cal, and I just feel like-"

"Stop that all right? You are my best friend and you have pulled my arse together so many times in the last 9 years, being here for you is really the least I can do. I'm helping because I care about you. So, no arguments." Cal turns to look to the front of the car again. "Now, we need to stop and get some real coffee!"

They both laugh. Gillian is grateful he is here. She truly would be lost without him right now.

* * *

They reach Blacksburg at 1:00. Gillian pulls off the exit. "I'm starving. Any preference for lunch?"

Cal looks at his choices. "I'm good with whatever you want love."

Gillian goes to the gas station first. "I'll fill up and then we can eat."

Fifteen minutes later they are walking in to the Cracker Barrel. Gillian loves this place. Southern cooking with a fun little store she can shop in while they wait to be seated. Cal feels like a fish out of water. This isn't the kind of place he would have ever chosen but it seems to make Gillian happy, so he'll deal with it.

Once they are seated and have given the waitress their order, Gillian notices Cal staring at her. "Thank you for not doing this while I was driving."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Cal speaks animatedly. He knows exactly what she means and she's right. He has questions and he didn't want to ask while she was driving.

Gillian squints her eyes at him and purses her lips. "Right."

"Okay, so that was a lie." Cal grins at her when she gives him a wide-eyed 'you think?' look. "I do have questions Gill. But, I won't pry."

Gillian licks her lips. Suddenly her mouth and throat have gone dry. She stares down at her hands. "You can ask Cal. Just don't get upset if I'm not ready to answer."

"That's more than fair." He pauses when he sees the waitress coming with their drinks. After she sets them down and walks away, Cal refocuses on Gillian. "So, why the trip home? Did something happen?"

Gillian makes eye contact with him. "No, not really. I mean nothing at…" She starts to say home, but it doesn't fit. Poplar Grove hasn't been home since she was 16. "No one there knows I'm coming. Actually, I'm not sure anyone there even remembers me."

Cal feels confused. "Okay, so, why the trip then love? What's going on?"

Gillian isn't sure how to explain it. She can barely make sense out of it in her own head. She has no idea how to explain it to him. "I don't know, honestly. I just feel out of sorts right now and I was thinking back to a time when I didn't feel so… broken…"

Cal feels an overwhelming concern for her after hearing this. "Broken?"

Gillian takes a deep breath and looks at the ceiling before letting it out slowly. Maybe she should have thought a little longer before she answered. She even feels confusion at what just came out of her mouth. "Don't look so concerned Cal. I'm fine. Claire's death has just brought up some feelings that I'm having trouble reconciling."

"And going back to Poplar Grove will help that?"

Gillian looks right into his eyes. "I don't know. But I need to give it a shot."

* * *

Cal knows Gillian hasn't been sleeping well. He tried to get her to let him drive earlier, but she refused. As they leave the restaurant though, he insists. She reluctantly hands him the keys.

He guides the car back on to the interstate. Less than 10 minutes passes before Gillian is asleep. He lets her sleep. The GPS is set to get him where they're going.

* * *

Cal takes the exit off Interstate 77 toward Poplar Grove. He nudges Gillian to wake her. "Gill. Gill wake up. We're here."

She sits up suddenly "What?" It takes her a second to remember where she is. "We're here?" She wipes her eyes and gets herself settled in her seat again. "Oh Cal, why didn't you wake me? I feel bad that you drove all that way."

"It was no longer than what you drove. And obviously you needed the sleep." Cal pulls into a gas station. He figures she needs to drive now. He has no idea where they're staying. He stops the car next to the gas pump and gets out to pump the gas.

Gillian hops out of the passenger seat and comes to the driver's side. "Thank you."

He hands her the keys. "You're very welcome."

* * *

Gillian drives them to the Residence Inn. It's the closest hotel to Poplar Grove. It's a suite hotel, which she likes. It means they don't have to eat every meal out. She has reserved one room. When they get to the check in counter, she gives them her name and then says she needs to reserve a second room. Cal hears this and interrupts.

"Wait. It's a suite hotel right?" When Gillian nods, he continues. "So there's a fold out couch right?" This he directs to the desk clerk who confirms it. Cal looks back at Gillian "I can take the couch love. Not a problem."

"Cal, it's okay. I'll pay for your room. It's the least I can do since you were nice enough to sacrifice your weekend for me."

"Not necessary. First, it was no sacrifice. Second, it'll be easier if we just have the one room." Cal thinks for a second "unless that makes you uncomfortable…"

Gillian thinks how it wouldn't be uncomfortable at all normally, but she might want time alone to process this weekend and she doesn't want him to have to deal with that.

Cal sees her face and knows what she's thinking. "Separate bed room, right?" She nods. "You can have your privacy there. I won't smother you."

Gillian smirks at the comment remembering the many times he's used that on her. "Fine. Just the one room please."

**TBC**

**I know these first few chapters have been mostly set up. I promise it gets more interesting! **


	3. They Say You Can't Go Home Again

**Two years ago today, FOX crushed us by canceling this awesome show. I still hate them for it! Slimy bastards. I said then I hoped we fans could keep it alive in Fan fiction. So far, a lot of us are still here. That makes me happy. :) ****#LIETOMELIVES**

**Chapter 3 They Say You Can't Go Home Again**

By the time they finish checking in and getting their bags into the room, it's close to 5pm. "I'm going to run to the supermarket down the street. Any requests?"

"Just one." Cal hops up off the couch and grabs his jacket. "Take me with you."

"You don't have to come Cal. You can stay here and relax." Gillian wants to drive by her old house. She doesn't want to bore him with that.

"What?" He goes a little closer to her. "What's that?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head. "It's nothing."

Cal has a feeling he knows what she's doing. "Where did you want to go that you weren't sure if you wanted to take me?"

"Cal…" Gillian takes a deep breath and lets it out loudly. "It's not… I don't…" She looks down, shaking her head, and then back up at him. "Okay. I need for you to understand what I'm feeling, but I don't know how to express it." She goes and sits down at one of the little chairs beside the small kitchen table. "I haven't been here…" She doesn't know what to say. Cal knows nothing about her life in Poplar Grove except what she told him about her father, his drinking and the fact that he taught her to play the guitar.

Cal sees her struggling and goes to sit in the chair across from her. He has the feeling she has a lot of things in her past she isn't sure she wants, or doesn't know how, to share with him. He recalls the exchange they had at Christmas time…

_"I would love to hear about your guitar playing days."_

_"Someday, Cal. Someday I'll tell you about it, okay? Just not today. I want to enjoy this today. I want to keep this happy, warm feeling I have right at this moment for as long as I can."_

_"Ok love. I can wait as long as you need me to. Today, we'll be happy."_

…"Don't think too hard about it Gill. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you want to share with me is fine. And if you don't want to share with me now, that's fine too. I said I could wait as long as you needed me to, and I meant that." Cal reaches across the table and places his hand on her forearm.

"Thank you." She places her hand over his. "I want to share with you." She pauses for a second "This weekend might be a little rough for me Cal. I haven't been back to my house since I left." She looks at him "I've only been back to Poplar Grove once. For my father's funeral."

"I'm here for you Gill. I won't push and I'll be whatever you need me to be. Okay?"

"Okay." She stands up. "Let's go." She grabs his hand and they head out the door.

* * *

Gillian stays quiet as she drives down the narrow country road that takes her to the little house she grew up in. Cal watches her take a deep breath as they turn on to an even smaller road. They pass by several houses before Gillian pulls over in front of one. She looks at Cal "well, that's it."

Cal looks at the little house. Since its still winter, the sky is getting dark so it isn't easy to see much. It's white with a porch across the front that has a swing on the right side. The shutters and the door are dark blue. There are several big oak trees in the yard. He looks at Gillian. She's looking at the house, but she seems to be lost in thought. "You okay?"

Cal's voice breaks her out of her thoughts. "Yeah. I'm fine." She glances around the yard and then looks at the two houses across the street. "Nothing has changed. It still looks the same."

"Did you want to get out?" Cal waits to follow her lead.

"No. We should go. We're strangers here, they might come out with shotguns."

Cal laughs but then he sees Gillian's face and realizes she's serious. "Okay then. Let's go!"

Gillian smiles at him "We like our guns here. I haven't seen a neighborhood watch that could come close to this." She pulls a U turn. The road is so small she has to stop and reverse a few times before she gets going back in the direction they came. "By tomorrow morning, everyone within a twenty mile radius will know a strange car with out of state tags stopped in front of my old house." They both laugh.

Cal watches her. She looks tense. "You okay love?"

Gillian glances at him for a second and then looks back at the road in front of her. "It's hard. Harder than I even thought it would be."

* * *

Gillian drives them to the supermarket. They pick up a few things for breakfast and some sandwich items for tonight and lunch tomorrow. Cal laughs as he sees Gillian grab a snack pack of chocolate pudding. "What?" she looks at him incredulously. "I know this weekend will be rough Cal. I need my comfort food!"

It's nearly 7:00 when they get back to the hotel and get the bags to their room. Cal starts making sandwiches and Gillian excuses herself to change clothes. When she comes out of the bedroom in pajama pants and an obviously well worn sweatshirt, Cal is just finishing up. Gillian grabs two beers out of the small refrigerator and hands one to Cal. He takes the beer and hands her a plate with a huge sandwich on it.

"Wow. I take it you're hungry?" Gillian laughs as she sits at the small table.

"Starving!" Cal joins her. They sit and eat surrounded by a comfortable silence. They are close to finishing the meal when Cal slows down enough to ask her a question. "So, you grew up in that house?" After Gillian nods, he continues. "Did your parents still live there when you went away to college?"

Gillian stops chewing for just a second, caught off guard by the question. She chews a few more times and then swallows before she answers him. "Uh, not exactly." She puts her sandwich down on her plate and takes a sip of her beer. She puts her hands in her lap and looks at Cal. She doesn't want to have this conversation. But, she feels like she would rather explain now than have him full of questions tomorrow. "I never told you this, but, I had a sister."

Cal looks up from his plate with an expression of confusion. "Had?" He says this, in typical Cal fashion, with a mouthful of food. He swallows but doesn't take another bite. He's studying her face.

Gillian lets him look. She doesn't feel sad at the moment. She is detached and telling him this as if they were discussing a case instead of her personal life. "Yes. Had." She takes a deep breath. "She was three years older than me. Her name was Allison." Gillian stops there and gets a far away look on her face. It has been years since she even said her sister's name.

Cal can see her struggling all the sudden. "Gill you don't need to do this now-"

"No, I'm fine." She looks him in the eye. "I want to tell you." She takes a deep breath. "Ally was 16 when she died in a car accident."

Cal is surprised. He thinks back to the case where he heard her tell Marcus Weaver about losing her brother in a car accident. It was scary how easily she said that and how it seemed so true. Now he sees how true it was, only it was a sister she lost, not a brother. A sister he never knew she had. _How could she carry that around and never mention it? How did I never pick up on it? _"Oh love. I'm so sorry."

Gillian gives him a sad smile. She takes another sip of her beer. "I can still remember it so clearly. My mom was making dinner and she realized she needed something she forgot to get at the store. She grabbed her purse and her keys and said she'd be back in a bit. Ally jumped up and said 'let me go get it.' She had just gotten her license a few weeks before and she had been jumping at every chance to drive by herself. My mom said no, but my dad spoke up and said 'oh let her go it'll be good for her to get out there and drive.' I begged her to let me go with her, but she wouldn't take me. She said she wanted to go alone this time but she would take me the next time." Gillian stops talking and stares at the table for a few seconds. "There was no next time."

Cal feels the nausea hitting his stomach. "You were 13?" Gillian nods. He sees something, but he's not sure what it is. "Do you blame yourself love?"

Gillian looks up at him. "No. It was an accident, just one of those things." She shrugs as she says this, which tells Cal she may not blame herself for the accident but she feels some responsibility for something around it.

Ah, that's it. "Why the guilt Gill?" Cal says it softly. He isn't sure she wants to be pushed into revealing too much.

Gillian steels herself against the question. Her shoulders go back and her chin comes up. "I know this sounds ridiculous, and believe me my adult mind knows it. But, I always felt that it shouldn't have been her. She was the beautiful one. She had my mom's long blonde hair and my dad's chestnut brown eyes. She was perfect. Smart, talented, and everyone loved her."

Cal understands. She has some sort of survivor's guilt. "You don't think you're all those things?"

"It's not that, not really. I understand now that I wasn't ugly, I was smart, and I had my own talents. But, Allison was my parents' pride and joy. She had a beautiful voice and she played the piano… Every week in church she sang and everyone would tell them how wonderfully talented she was." She looks down at the table. "I was the typical little sister. I tried really hard to fill my big sister's shoes. But, they never quite fit." Gillian thinks back to the night her sister died. She still remembers it as if she were watching TV. She wasn't really a part of it; she was just a spectator. Her mother cried hysterically and her father stood there in a daze.

Cal can see she is lost in thought. "Gillian." His voice gets her attention. "What happened after that?"

Gillian stands and grabs their plates. She walks them to the little kitchen sink. She washes them as she explains. "My parents fought, a lot. My mother blamed my father for letting my sister drive to the store, and my father blamed himself. He started drinking heavily. We quit going to church. Eventually my mom left, my father lost his job, and then he lost the house."

Cal notices how she doesn't mention where she fit in with all of that. "What about you love? What happened to you?"

She stops rinsing the plates and looks at him. "I was there." She turns back to the sink and finishes rinsing the plates. "I watched them fall apart."

Cal isn't too sure how hard he should push, but she did say she wanted to share with him. "Who took care of you?"

Gillian dries her hands and hangs up the towel. "I took care of myself." She turns and goes to sit on the couch. She feels an overwhelming sadness. "My parents distanced themselves from me after my sister died. They emotionally shut down." She curls her knees up and starts to hug them. "They were protecting themselves…"

Cal walks over and sits on the couch beside her. "Oh, Gill." Cal doesn't want her to shut him out. He leans over, puts his arms around her and pulls her in close. She snuggles in to his shoulder.

"It's okay Cal. I was fine. They provided what I needed, its not like I was completely ignored or anything." Gillian wraps an arm across his waist.

"Sure love." He doesn't agree that she was fine, but he realizes she needs to think she was. So he doesn't argue with her.

Cal feels her relax against him. They sit there quietly for quite some time. He realizes he's playing with her hair right about the same time she jerks in his arms, her muscles tensing and relaxing as she falls asleep. He doesn't want to wake her. He's enjoying just holding her. He thinks about what she shared with him tonight. He feels like she became the caretaker in that household. He wonders if she ever truly grieved the loss of her sister, if she ever had the support she needed to be able to. He also thinks how unfair life is; how can Gillian be such a loving, giving person and yet has had so much loss in her life? He squeezes her a little tighter.

**TBC**


	4. I Just Had to Come Back One Last Time

**Thank you for the lovely feedback. I'm writing this in present tense, not my usual. Please let me know if you see issues with tense anywhere…**

**Chapter 4 I Just Had to Come Back One Last time**

_I thought if I could touch this place or feel it_  
_This brokenness inside me might start healing_

Gillian wakes feeling very rested. She can see light through the crack in the drapes. She sits up and looks at the clock. 7:39. She blinks her eyes and looks again. It now says 7:40. When had she fallen asleep? She didn't remember coming to bed. She throws the covers back and stands up to stretch. She walks to the bedroom door and opens it quietly. She can smell coffee. She walks out of the bedroom and sees Cal sitting at the small table.

He smiles at her. "Morning sleepy head."

"Good morning." She motions to the bathroom door "I'll be right back." She goes into the bathroom, freshens up, and brushes her teeth. She realizes she fell asleep on the couch, on Cal. She sees her reflection in the mirror and catches the blush that forms on her cheeks at the thought. _'Stop it Gillian. He's your friend, your best friend. Nothing more. You have enough to worry about this weekend.'_

Gillian exits the bathroom and heads for the coffee pot. She notices the couch is folded up with the pillows neatly on it. "How did you sleep? The fold out okay?" She focuses on her coffee and doesn't turn around as she asks.

Cal watches her every move and senses she is uncomfortable about something. He didn't wake her up last night. He carried her to the bedroom after he held her for an hour as she slept. She didn't even flinch as he tucked her into bed. "It was fine actually. One of the better sleeper sofa's I've slept on."

She turns and comes to sit at the table with him. "Good." She takes a sip of her coffee. "How long have you been up?'

"About an hour. I made coffee, took a shower, and I've just about finished reading the local paper." He holds it up for her to see. "Riveting."

"I can imagine." She laughs.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, there is something I need to do. If you don't want to go with me, it's okay. Please don't feel obligated." She takes another long sip of her coffee.

Cal pulls his glasses off his nose and gives her a pointed look. "Would you stop with that all ready? I'm here because I want to spend time with you. I want to learn all about 'little Gillian.'" He snickers.

She rolls her eyes. "You might change your mind when you hear where I'm going."

"Try me."

Gillian looks down into her coffee cup. "I'm going to the cemetery." She glances up at him. "Take flowers, you know…"

Cal maintains eye contact as he speaks. "I would be honored to do that with you."

* * *

An hour later, they are at the local farmer's market. Gillian pulls Cal to a booth that sells fresh, country ham biscuits. "Oh my God. I haven't had a good country ham biscuit in forever." She gets two and hands him one as they walk down the block to the small flower stand.

She watches him taste the biscuit. "What do you think?"

Cal nods and smiles as he continues to chew. He mumbles, "It's good." She smiles and takes another bite of her own biscuit.

* * *

Gillian drives slowly through the cemetery. She hasn't been here since her father's funeral. The trees are all taller and the bushes larger. The markers are all the same. She pulls over and stops at a sharp turn in the little driveway. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She cuts the ignition and takes the key out.

"Okay love?"

She turns to look at him with a sad smile. "Yeah." She gets out of the car and pops the trunk. She drops the keys in her pocket and grabs the two bouquets of flowers.

Cal follows her out and as he looks around he can't help thinking this is a really beautiful place. He is shocked he can say that about a cemetery, especially in the mountains in the dead of winter. There is a view of a snow-covered mountaintop to one side and a small, frozen pond to the other. There are a few tall oak trees, several azalea bushes, and what are obviously flowerbeds that are empty because of the cold weather. Cal finds himself picturing leaves on the trees, bright flowers on the bushes, and the flowerbeds full of white and yellow jonquils. He is broken out of his thoughts by Gillian's voice.

"It's this way. Near the pond." She starts walking and he follows. "They're buried near each other."

Gillian stops and looks down. Cal sees her father's name. William. He thinks how sad it is he never knew that. Gillian hands him one of the bouquets of flowers. She then kneels down, pulls a vase out of the gravestone, and flips it over. She pulls the protective covering from around the fresh flowers and puts them in the vase. She stands up and looks at them.

"My father loved daisies. Whenever we would come to my sister's grave we would always get daisies and we would always put two red roses and two white roses in with them." She takes in a shaky breath and turns to Cal. "He would always say the same thing. _'Two red roses for love; one for your mom and one for me. Two white roses for innocence; one for Ally and one for you_.'" Gillian's voice cracks as she says it and her eyes get moist. But she doesn't cry.

She takes the other bouquet from Cal. She walks closer to the pond and stops in front of her sister's grave. She kneels down and pulls the vase out. She unwraps the flowers and puts them in the vase. This bouquet is full of stargazer lilies and dark pink roses. Cal waits for her to stand and explain the significance of the flowers to him like she did at her father's grave. But she doesn't. Then he realizes she's crying. He puts his hand on her shoulder. She grabs it as she stands. When she turns to him he opens his arms and she leans into them. They stand there for a few minutes with her crying and him holding her tightly.

When she pulls away, she wipes her tears and gives him a watery smile. "Thanks."

"No thanks necessary Gill." She's holding on to his hand as she turns back toward the grave. She doesn't let go, and he doesn't either. "Why the lilies and the roses?"

Gillian smiles. "Ally used to talk about stargazer lilies being her favorite flower and how she would carry them in her wedding someday. Pink was her favorite color and she loved the smell of roses."

"Why did your dad always get daisies?"

"Because my parents never knew about her fondness for lilies." She looks at him and he can see the tears forming in her eyes. "And I never told them. It was our special thing." She's crying steadily now and Cal grabs her into a hug once more. When she calms, she pulls back. "Before I left for college, I would bring lilies here every chance I got." Her voice breaks again. "I feel so bad that I haven't been here to bring her any since my dad died."

"Come here." Cal grabs her once again and holds her close.

Once they're back in the car, Gillian turns to Cal. "I'm so glad you're here."

Cal feels the love for her so strong in his heart right at that moment he nearly confesses his feelings. He stops himself. Now wouldn't be the best time. "There's no place else I'd rather be darling."

* * *

For the next few hours, Gillian drives him around Poplar Grove. She shows him her Elementary School, her High School, the old Drive-in Theatre that's no longer open, and the old Roller rink that has since become a car dealership. Cal laughs as he sees a huge, two story tall roller skate sitting out in front. Gillian explains how it was such an icon the owners left it there.

They go back to the hotel to grab sandwiches for lunch. The conversation is light and they laugh as Gillian tells him more stories about the little town. Cal can hardly imagine his partner and best friend growing up here. "So then, how'd you lose that southern drawl love?"

Gillian laughs. She tells him, in the best southern accent she can muster. "When I went off to college my professors preached to us how we'd be branded as a certain type if we didn't neutralize our accents."

* * *

After lunch, they get back in the car. Gillian wants to go by her house again. It was getting dark the night before and she wants to get a better look.

"Your mum's name is Ellen right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Just wondering. I never knew your dad's name. William." Cal was quiet for a few seconds. "William, Ellen, Allison, and Gillian. You got that double 'L' thing going on. Was that on purpose?"

"Absolutely!" Gillian giggles. "Oh, and it's even better than that! My mom was Ellie, my sister was Ally, my dad was Bill, and I was Gill."

"Oh dear God." Cal makes like he is throwing up.

Gillian smacks him, but she's laughing, so he plays it up even more.

* * *

Gillian pulls the car in front of her old house and parks. She gets out and walks around to the passenger side. Cal gets out and stands beside her.

"Gillian?" The voice comes from behind them. "Gillian, is that you?"

Gillian turns to see her old neighbor coming from the house across the street. "Mrs. Byler?"

"I knew it was you when I saw your car here yesterday! I told Mister it was you!" She walks straight to Gillian and grabs her into a huge hug. "Oh look at you. Don't you eat? There's nothing to ya! Strong wind'll blow ya over."

Cal laughs. "She is right skinny isn't she?"

Mrs. Byler turns to Cal. "Oh, you're a fancy talker."

Gillian smiles brightly. "Mrs. Byler, this is Cal Lightman. Cal, this is Mrs. Byler."

"Pleasure to meet you." Cal shakes the older woman's hand.

Mrs. Byler smiles. "Same to you sir." She turns back to Gillian. "I knew you'd come back someday. I told Mister you would." She takes Gillian's hand and drags her across the street. "Come on. I got something to show you."

Gillian tries to stop. "Mrs. Byler, really, I just wanted to see the old house. I don't want to impose."

She laughs. "Nonsense girl. I made fudge this morning. When I saw you last night, I knew you'd come back around."

Cal raises his eyebrows and looks at Gillian. "So, I guess chocolate has always been a favorite?"

Mrs. Byler stops at her door and turns to Cal. "Oh, Lordy yes! I never did see a kid who could eat more chocolate than Gill." She turns back and opens the door. "Come on in!" As they enter the house Mrs. Byler yells "Mister! Mister, come out here! We got some special company!"

Cal is surprised to see an older gentleman walk down the hallway. He honestly expected 'Mister' to be a dog. He looks at Gillian who is giggling at him. It's obvious she knows what he is thinking.

Mr. Byler enters the room and stops. "Gillian. It really is you! Missy always told me you'd be back."

Mrs. Byler says proudly "Yes I did! Get their coats and store 'em." She motions toward the couch. "Sit. I'll grab the fudge and some tea."

Cal and Gillian hand Mr. Byler their coats and then sit on the couch. Mr. Byler puts their coats in the next room. He then returns and sits in 'his' chair. Mr. Byler smiles at Gillian. "You know, Missy always loved when you would come over. You were the daughter she never had."

Gillian smiles. "I always loved coming over here. How are Jimmy and Chad?"

"They're doing fine. Living down in Charlotte. Both got wives and kids. We don't see them as much as we'd like to." He stops talking when Mrs. Byler comes back into the room.

She sits a tray on the coffee table and hands Cal and Gillian glasses of tea. Gillian takes a long sip. "You always did make the best tea."

Cal takes a sip and his tongue feels like it is shriveling. "Oh my, that's quite remarkable." He looks at Gillian and sees her hand covering her face to hide her laughter. She obviously knew Mrs. Byler's tea would be loaded with sugar.

Mrs. Byler excuses herself saying she'll be right back. They make small talk and Gillian enjoys a few pieces of fudge before she sees Mrs. Byler coming back into the room. Cal sees Gillian's face first. Her eyes get wide and she sucks in a breath. He follows her gaze to Mrs. Byler and sees her holding a guitar case. Gillian stands up with tears in her eyes. "Oh my God is that…"

Mrs. Byler nods her head "Yes, it is sweetie."

"You… how did you…" Gillian takes the instrument from her.

"It was outside when they emptied the house after your father lost it. I got some of your old books and some pictures too."

Gillian can't hold in her emotions and the tears fall. She sits on the couch with the guitar case in her lap. She looks at a hand-stitched nametag that is attached to the handle and it's then she starts crying in earnest. Cal looks up to see tears in Mrs. Byler's eyes too. Gillian stands and wraps her arms around Mrs. Byler. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

**TBC**


	5. I Thought That Maybe I Could Find Myself

**It's been forever, I know. Had to find my momentum again to finish this chapter. Hope people are still with me…**

**Chapter 5 I Thought That Maybe I Could Find Myself**

Gillian excuses herself to the bathroom to wipe her eyes and pull herself together. She is completely shocked and overwhelmed at what Mrs. Byler did for her. She's wondering what pictures and books Mrs. Byler might have.

* * *

Mrs. Byler leaves the room again. Cal chats with Mr. Byler. "So, Gillian spent a lot of time here then?"

Mr. Byler smiles. "She sure did. Even more after her sister died. Missy loved having her over. Our boys were a little older and they always looked out for Gillian. Our youngest, Chad, was a year older than Allison. Hit him hard when she died. Jimmy was nineteen. He was all ready out on his own, but he would come around every Saturday and play guitar with Gillian." Mr. Byler smiles at the memory. "He thought the world of that girl. He's gonna be so happy she came by. And that she has her guitar back."

Cal feels an ache in his heart. He always thought Gillian must have had a perfect childhood. She's always so happy and loving and caring. He feels so grateful to the Byler's. They were obviously a saving grace for her.

* * *

Mrs. Byler comes back into the room with a box. Cal jumps up to help her. He takes the box and sets it on the floor near where Gillian had been sitting on the couch. Mrs. Byler goes to leave the room again. "Can I help you Mrs. Byler?"

"No sir! You sit and relax. I'll be right back." She disappears down the hall again.

Gillian comes in and sees the box sitting beside the couch. She hesitates for just a second. She doesn't know what's in that box and she isn't sure she wants to open it here, in front of everyone. She makes her way back to the couch and sits down.

Cal is watching her closely. The fear he saw on her face when she came back into the room confuses him. _ 'Is she afraid of what's in the box? Or the emotions it might provoke?' _ Maybe this is too much for her.

Just as Gillian sits down, Mrs. Byler comes back into the room with a second box. Cal feels Gillian stiffen next to him. He reaches and takes her hand. She looks at their joined hands and then up at him. His look asks her if she is okay. She nods, nearly imperceptibly, and squeezes his hand.

Mrs. Byler sets the box on top of the other one. She then goes and sits in the chair next to her husband. "I put some things in there that Jimmy gave me. He always wondered if you'd come back. He looked for you a few times, didn't know what he was looking for though. We heard you got married and we didn't know your married name…"

Gillian gives Mrs. Byler a sad look. "I'm so sorry. I should have called or something, I just, I…"

Mrs. Byler reaches her hand out and grasps Gillian's. "Don't apologize." She looks over at her husband as she says "We all knew you were better off after you left here. Just wish we could have done more."

Gillian's eyes fill with tears once more. She squeezes Mrs. Byler's hand. She glances between Mr. and Mrs. Byler. "You all did _so_ much for me. I could never begin to thank you enough." She takes a sharp breath and swallows the lump in her throat.

Cal watches the exchange between them with interest. He sees a lot of Gillian in Mrs. Byler and he realizes this is where she got her strength. He sees the same inner fortitude and the same lively sparkle in her eyes that he always marvels at in Gillian.

Mrs. Byler breaks the quiet that's settling. "Open that top box. I bet your fancy talker friend will love to see what's in that one." She then winks at Cal as Gillian leans over to open the box.

Gillian pulls out an old poster with a picture of a band on it. Cal looks closely and sees her holding a guitar and standing in front of a microphone right in the center of the photo. "Aye, aye. What do we have here?"

Gillian blushes. "Oh my God! Where did you get this?"

Mrs. Byler smiles as she tells about Jimmy keeping the posters and the pictures and even a few tapes from when Gillian used to play in a cover band in college. "He thought for sure he would be hearing you singing on the radio some day."

Gillian pulls some old photos and cassette tapes out of the box. She hands them to Cal who looks through them with a smile on his face. She then sees a small recipe box. She pulls it out. She looks at Mrs. Byler. "Is this...?"

"Yes, it is. I kept it just in case." Mrs. Byler is smiling brightly as she says to Cal "Gillian and I would cook together all the time. I got this box and she would write all the recipes down and keep them in there. Said she wanted to be able to cook for her family one day."

Cal sees Gillian's face flash with sadness. He realizes they don't know that she can't have children. He notices her panic and quickly changes the subject. "What else you got in there?"

Gillian smiles at him gratefully. She looks in and finds old music books, pictures of her with the Byler's, and the booklet from her sister's funeral. Gillian stares at the small book as she pulls it into her lap. Mrs. Byler sees and says quickly "I didn't know if you kept one."

Gillian looks up at her. "I did, but I have no idea what happened to it. I didn't take it with me when I left."

The room is quiet for a few minutes as Gillian looks through the things in the box. Mr. and Mrs. Byler watch as she pulls items out. Mrs. Byler is smiling. She is happy to see her 'surrogate' daughter again. She missed her terribly when she left. "Where did you go Gillian? After college?" She pauses for a second. "I mean we saw you at your Dad's funeral, but we didn't get to chat."

Gillian looks up at her and sees the sadness on her face. "I'm so sorry about that." She looks down at the floor thinking of how she came in the night of the viewing and left right after the funeral. "I don't know why I didn't stay longer, I just, it was…"

Mrs. Byler finishes the sentence for her. "Easier to stay away? I understand."

Gillian looks at her again and Cal sees some unspoken message pass between the two of them. "Yeah, I guess." Gillian turns toward Cal. They lock eyes for only a second, but it's enough for Gillian to get the boost she needs to keep going. She looks back at the Byler's. "I went to Washington. I've lived there since college."

Over the next thirty minutes, Gillian explains where she works and what she and Cal do in their business. The Byler's are fascinated and ask lots of questions, most of which Cal fields while she continues looking through the box. She's just starting to put items away when Mrs. Byler gets up and takes the tray to the kitchen. She wraps up the rest of the fudge for Gillian to take with her. As she walks back into the room, she looks out the front window. "Oh, Caroline's home!" She turns to Mr. Byler. "Get their coats Mister!"

Gillian looks out the window and sees a car in the driveway of her old house. She realizes Mrs. Byler intends on introducing her to the current owners. "Mrs. Byler I don't want to impose, I just wanted to come by and see the place."

Mrs. Byler waves her arm in the air. "Nonsense! I've told them all about you!" She then grabs her own coat and heads out the front door.

**TBC**

**Two more chapters…**


	6. These Handprints on the Front Steps

**Thanks to those still with me. Sorry the updates are so sporadic. I'm aiming for one more chapter…**

**Chapter 6 These Handprints on the Front Steps are Mine**

_Up those stairs in that little back bedroom  
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar_

Cal and Gillian cross the street after getting their coats on. As they approach the house, Mrs. Byler is telling the new owner that Gillian is back and she can't wait for her to meet her.

Cal feels Gillian hesitate at the bottom of the steps to the porch. He follows her eyes and sees two sets of small handprints in the cement. Before he can ask about it, Gillian moves on.

"Caroline, this is Gillian." Mrs. Byler puts her arm around Gillian as she gets to the top of the steps. "Gillian, this is Caroline Fleming."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Gillian." Caroline shakes Gillian's hand and then turns to Mrs. Byler. "You were right. She came back."

Mrs. Byler shakes her head. "I don't know why people doubt me." They all laugh.

Caroline motions them inside. "Please come in. It's too chilly to be standing on the porch."

"We don't want to intrude-" Gillian feels bad for the unexpected visit, but she was also hoping that Caroline would ask them in. She hasn't been inside this old house since she walked out at 16.

"Don't be silly! You're not intruding at all."

Gillian looks around as she enters. The house looks completely different and yet, strangely, feels the same. Her mind flashes everywhere at once. She sees the Christmas tree in the corner and the stockings on the fireplace mantle. Then, suddenly, she sees flowers and Easter eggs. That quickly jumps to birthday streamers and balloons. She shakes her head trying to clear the images. She hears Cal talking.

"You all right, darling?" Cal wonders where her mind is slipping off to.

Gillian realizes they are all staring at her. "Yes. I'm fine." She looks around again. This time she sees how different the room looks. The walls are a different color, bright and cheery. There are new, built in bookshelves on either side of the fireplace mantle. She sees a beautiful portrait on the wall of Caroline and her family. Gillian turns to her and smiles. "You have a beautiful family."

"Thank you." Caroline motions them toward the furniture. "Please, sit down. It's so nice to finally meet you. Mrs. Byler has told me so much about you."

Cal feels Gillian tense at hearing this. He squeezes her arm as they sit on the sofa. Gillian looks at him and smiles slightly before she responds. "She has?" Gillian shoots a questioning look at Mrs. Byler who doesn't notice.

Caroline sits in a chair across from them. "Oh yes. She's quite fond of you. Told me how you were a brilliant and talented child and how she loved to spend time with you."

Gillian blushes while Cal smiles. Mrs. Byler chuckles at Gillian's pink cheeks. "Never did take compliments well. I see that hasn't changed!"

Gillian looks into her lap, embarrassed. After a few seconds, she looks up at Caroline. "The feeling was mutual. I loved spending time with the Byler's. They are sweet and loving people." Gillian looks pointedly at Mrs. Byler as she says this.

Caroline nods her head in agreement. "That they are. I couldn't ask for better neighbors."

The conversation moves forward as Caroline tells them about her two daughters, Sarah and Mallory. Sarah is 12 and is a dancer. Caroline explains how she dances every night of the week. She's at a ballet workshop this afternoon. Mallory is 9 and is an avid soccer player. She takes dance class one night a week, preferring hip-hop as opposed to classical ballet. Mallory is at her elementary school fair right now with her father.

Caroline is a proud mother and Gillian can't help but feel a little envious. Caroline is only a few years older than her and, although Gillian is proud of her own accomplishments, she wonders how different her life would be if she were able to have children.

Cal senses where Gillian's thoughts have gone. He grabs her hand and gives it a supportive squeeze. She looks at him and smiles. Before she turns back, she looks again at the family picture on the wall. Caroline is a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Her husband is handsome with dark hair and brown eyes. Sarah looks just like her mother only her eyes are brown. Mallory looks more like her dad but her eyes are the same brilliant blue as her mother's. Gillian feels the shiver go up her spine as she draws the parallels between her own childhood family and this one. _'Please God, let them have a happier and longer life together.' _She swallows the lump in her throat and looks over at Mrs. Byler. The older woman gives her a knowing nod.

* * *

Caroline insists Gillian and Cal take a look around while she tends to something in the garage.

"Are you sure you don't mind us poking around the place?" Gillian really doesn't want to be a nuisance, as much as she longs to see her old house.

"Absolutely not! Please, go!" Caroline shoos them out of the living room toward the back of the house.

The house is older and has been remodeled since Gillian saw it last. Instead of two bedrooms on the first floor, they have been combined to make a large master suite with a large bathroom attached. A small powder room is in place for guests to use where the full sized bathroom used to be. They walk around the first floor and then head up the steps to the girls' bedrooms.

This level looks the same. There are two bedrooms, one at the top of the stairs; that was Allison's. The hallway is to the left. The built in desk with bookshelves above it and the full bathroom are set up the same way, but everything in the bathroom is new. Gillian goes down the hallway and stops when she enters her old room. So many things come flooding back to her; it's almost overwhelming. The walls are deep lavender now, instead of the pale yellow when it was hers. Mallory's bed is in the same place Gillian's had been. That isn't surprising. The room is so small there really isn't any other place to put it.

Cal walks up behind her. "This must be your old room?"

Gillian nods. "Yes. It's a different color, but otherwise, it's exactly the same."

He notices how tense she is. He squeezes her shoulder gently. She relaxes a little and reaches her hand up to her shoulder to grab his. They stand there for a minute longer. Gillian then turns to him and gives him a sad smile. She brushes past him to go back down the hallway. She realizes then that the door at the top of the stairs is no longer there. She stops and stares at the wall that was always covered when the door was open. This is where her parents had measured them every New Years Day. She remembers how happy her mom was when she would mark their height with a black marker and each of them would put a colorful handprint on their side of the wall. Gillian had just started catching up to her sister when the accident had happened.

Cal watches as Gillian stares at the blank wall. He's just about to ask if she's okay when she moves and starts back down the stairs to the main level.

* * *

Gillian hears Caroline and Mrs. Byler talking quietly in the kitchen as they approach. When she turns the corner and enters the room, she is floored by what she sees. She stops so abruptly that Cal run's into the back of her. He hears her breath catch.

"Oh my… I was just… I thought you…" Gillian's voice is breaking as she's trying to speak. Cal pushes into the room beside her and sees Caroline holding up a large, framed piece of drywall in front of her.

"We cut it out before we re-painted upstairs. I'm not sure why really, it just looked like something special." Caroline pauses and watches Gillian for a moment before she continues. "I was glad I did after talking with Mrs. Byler and hearing about your family…" Caroline gets emotional as she finishes "I'm so sorry…"

Gillian has covered her mouth with her hand and tears are running freely down her face now. Cal isn't sure what to do although he thinks he has now figured out why Gillian was staring at the wall upstairs. Obviously this growth chart used to be there.

Caroline is still speaking. "My husband is pretty good at wood working and he made a frame for this, years ago, when Mrs. Byler first said she thought you would come back at some point and would love to have it."

Mrs. Byler, who is also crying now, walks over to Gillian and grabs her into a big hug.

* * *

Cal carries the large frame out to Gillian's car and slides it into the back seat. It's more than 5 feet long and 2 foot across, but he manages to fit it in without causing any damage. He turns back to the house to see the three women coming out. He watches as Gillian says her goodbyes to Caroline and thanks her again for the frame.

Mrs. Byler and Gillian meet him at the street and they walk back into the Byler's house together.

Cal loads the boxes and Gillian's guitar into the trunk as she says goodbye. Gillian gives them her address and telephone number and promises to come back again for a visit.

Cal hooks his arm in Gillian's as they walk to the car. He walks her toward the passenger side and at her questioning glance states "I'm driving love. You just relax."

Gillian nods her head thankfully as she climbs into the car and fastens her seatbelt.

The drive back into town is quiet. Gillian stares out the passenger window, lost in her thoughts. Cal reaches over and grasps her hand. She looks at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Cal."

He smiles at her and squeezes her hand. "Anytime, love."

**TBC**

**Gillian shares her whole story with Cal in the final chapter…**


End file.
